Sunday, August 17, 2008

Events that SHOULD be in the Olympics

You can not "go out there and give 110%." That is mathematically impossible. If I were to give you an apple pie you can not eat 110% of the pie. You can only eat 100% of the pie, after that there is no more pie to be eaten. In fact, I believe that it is in fact impossible to give 100%. I believe if you were to give 100% you would instantly fall over dead because you would have 0% left. Now for the important part of the blog.

Events that are not, but SHOULD be Olympic Events
1) Tug-a-War (seriously this would show everyone which country is the strongest)
2) Arm Wrestling (watch out China, this one is ours... or maybe Russia, they have some mean looking women)
3) Big Splash Contest (can you imagine the announcers saying, "Wow, look at that splash, that was way too small and thats going to cost him.)
4) Thumb wrestling (enough said)
5) Olympic sized Foozeball (my idea is a foozeball table so big that it takes one player per pole to play)
6) Roller Derby (oh yea, thats hot)
7) Hot Dog eating (these guys are serious athletes, if they have watermelon eating I may try out)
8) Speed knitting (ok I just changed my mind, this is a bad idea)
9) NASCAR (bahahaha thats worse than number 8)
10) Sky Acrobatics (thats those guys who jump out of planes and do tricks, it will be like the cool version of gymnastics)


Carly said...

Number 11....staring contest.

Good job nixing the NASCAR. I don't reckon they allow motor-homes and keg stands at the olympics.....society just isn't ready for it...yet.

Have a good one.

Laurie said...

We are supposed to play human foosball at my church this Sunday.

melanie said...

okay, okay, we don't want your ego to suffer. We saw your shameless plug on Reverb, so YES, you have a great blog, YES, you are great, YES, your blog is as cool as Ryan's, YES, you deserved higher than a 4 score...
There now, all better?
Good. Now dust yourself off, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get writing another post, dangit.