Sunday, June 26, 2011

How do you make a paragraph break on facebook

How do you make a paragraph break on facebook?
Hold the shift key while you push Enter


Although it may be hard to believe, when I was a kid I was very shy. I was a nice kid and I was a smart kid but I was not a popular kid. Being small and timid I was an easy target for bullies. I can still remember most of my bullies. I had church bullies and I had neighborhood bullies. I'm not sure which were worse. Bullies, at times, made life miserable.

They say that everything in life, both good and bad, helps to shape who you are and I am no exception. At a very young age, in reaction to being bullied, I can remember saying to my parents, "When I'm big I'm going to be nice to little kids." Even as a little kid I realized that bullying was a vicious cycle that I wanted no part of.

I recently asked my mom why she thought I quit being shy and she told me, "At some point you just decided that you liked who you were and you didn't really care what other people thought."
I remember I started to quit caring in my teenage years. I came to grips that I was never going to be like everyone else and that wasn't a defect. I was who I was and I was awesome. There was no real ah ha moment for me. I guess it was just a matter of gradually gaining confidence. Outgrowing my bullies helped as well. As a teenager I expressed my individuality through my comics, they were strange, and the way I dressed which wasn't quite main stream. I was a little punk rock, a little goth and a lot Dan. But, I was still pretty shy.

At around 18 I started doing a little bit of public speaking. I would sub in and teach Sunday School occasionally which progressed into teaching in my youth group and then later at youth conferences. As it turned out I enjoyed being in front of people. Also at around that same age I joined my churches drama team which really helped me to come out of my shell. I had been performing in front of people since I was 12 but I was always in a costume or behind a stage with a puppet. Now people could see me and I liked it. As time when by I became more and more outgoing. I don't think I became as outgoing as I am today until I was in my early 20s. I guess I was a late bloomer. I was eccentric, I was funny, I did my own thing, I was the Dan. Hi, my name is Dan and I'm not very shy.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Top 10 Things your Facebook Status Should NOT Say

There are certain things that, in my opinion, your facebook status updates should not include. Here are the top 10.

10. The lyrics from any song that has never been played on the radio. How is anyone supposed to know what you're talking about if no one has ever heard the song? It may sound cool to you but to everyone else it just looks like you're writing bad poetry about your depression.

9. Warnings letting everyone know that facebook has decided to start deleting inactive accounts. If you're older than 10 you should know better.

8. Inside jokes. I know you think that you're hilarious but to everyone else you're just posting the babblings of an idiot.

7. Your tragic breakup if it has happened between you and the same person more than once in the last two months. Seriously, get counseling or something.

6. Anything that involves bowel movements. Your constipation is an issue between you and your favorite brand of bran cereal. I understand that it's painful but I really don't want to hear about it.

5. Spam app adds. Enough said.

4. Anything written in Webspeak. I feel like I'm trying to decipher cryptograms when I read that junk.

3. Inspirational sayings more than once a day. I get it, you're inspiring, good job.

2. What the weather is like where you are vacationing. I'm not there and I don't care.

1. The word "Drama." Are you really tired of all of the "Drama?" Please tell me more. No seriously, don't.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Mosh Pits and other things that my Mom doesn't understand

When I was 16 there was one thing that was certain. If I was at a concert I was not standing in the back. Now this certainly wasn't due to my getting there early or careful planning. I made it to the front by pushing and I when I pushed I pushed hard. There wasn't a crowd that I couldn't push my way to the front of. Pushing was part of the fun. Just getting to the front wasn't good enough though. Once I got there I would often climb onto the stage with the band and then jump off backwards into the crowd. I was a crowd surfing addict. Moshing was my favorite though. There was no smell more sweet than that of grass and sweat. 100s of overly aggressive teenagers and young adults running full speed into each other with no real goal in mind. It was amazing.

I'm a bit older now and I haven't moshed in years. I'm just not as aggressive as I was in my teens and early 20s. I do however enjoy watching other people do it. Here are two videos that I took at a couple of recent concerts. The first one shows the "Wall of Death." The second one shows two small kids going one on one. These kids were much too small to partake in the normal mosh pit so when they went one on one the crowd went wild.

Monday, June 13, 2011

How Much Does a Televangelist's House Cost?

The Joyce Meyer Family Compound

Have you ever wondered what kind of house a televangelist lives in? According to my research the answer is big and expensive.

Joel Osteen
Square Footage: 17,000
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 6
Other: 3 Elevators, 5 wood burning fireplaces, 1 bedroom guest house & pool house
Location: Tall Timbers subdivision in River Oaks, Harris County Texas
Value: 10.5 million
(Information provided by 2010 Houston's Daily Digital Magazine)

Paul and Jan Crouch
Square Footage: 9,500
Bedrooms: 6
Other: 1 Elevators, 6 car garage, tennis court, pool with fountain,
Location: Newport Beach, California
Value: 5 million
Other Residence: The TBN network owns 30 homes

Kenneth Copeland
Square Footage: 18,280
Other: Boat dock with three slips,
Location:Tarrant County, Texas
Value: 6.45 million
Additional Information: Property owned by church and is tax exempt

Creflo (Augustus) Dollar
Location: 4695 Hamden Forest Trail, Atlanta
Value: over 1 million

Additional Residence:
Location: 1811 Sandy Creek, Fayetteville, Georgia
Value: $2 million

Paula And Randy White
Square Footage: 8,072
Other: Tampa Bay waterfront view, in ground pool and spa,
Location: 4301 Bayshore Boulevard, Tampa, FL
Value: 2.68 million
Additional Information: Randy White took soul ownership after divorce

Additional Residence: Condo
Location: Trump Towers, NY
Value: 3.5 million

Benny Hinn
Square Footage: 7,200
Bedrooms: 7
Other: 5 car garage
Location: Dana Point, CA
Value: 3 million
(Information provided by Dateline NBC - originally reported as 10 car garage)

Joyce Meyer
Square Footage: 10,000
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 5
Other: Guest house with disconnected 8 car garage, pool, pool house, putting green,
Location: near Interstate 270 and Gravois Road, St. Louis County
Value: 1.85 million

Additional Residence: Lakefront Home
Location: Porto Cima at Lake of the Ozarks
Value: 500,000

Eddie Lee Long
Square Footage:
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 9
Location: Lithonia, GA
Value: 1.4 million

T.D. Jakes
Square Footage: 15,000
Bedrooms: 7
Other: Swimming Pool, 4 Car Garage,
Location: White Rock Lake area of Dallas
Value: 2.6 million

Now you've seen my crib no get the "Hell" out of here.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Making the Cut

In my parents house there are 3 spots that have family pictures. There is the mantle place in the dinning room, the mantle place in the living room and on top of the piano. Upon close examination I have discovered that of the 17 pictures I am only in two. One of those pictures is about 10 years old and features me standing in a tree. The other is one of my sister Faith's wedding where I am one of the 8 people featured.

Apparently if you want to be in more than two pictures you need to be married. Even my brother in laws have equal booking to me. My fear is that when my Sister Grace has her baby, my parents first grand kid, I will no longer make the picture cut. One by one my pictures will be systematically replaced with that of a drooling baby. And with only two pictures that won't take very long. But that's ok, I have a plan. I have three plans.

PLAN A: Get a Kitten
In this plan I get a cute little kitten and take 100s of pictures of me holding it next to my face. If I take enough then perhaps one will be cute enough to at least make it on the piano. The real flaw with this plan is that I am deathly allergic to cats. With my face swelled, the pictures will most more than likely resemble that of Quasimoto eating a kitten. That's not too cute.

PLAN B: Get a Baby
In this plan I get a baby. Now the downfalls of this plan are quite obvious, I'm stuck with a kid for the next 18 years. With a little creative thinking this plan is however quite plausible. Instead of acquiring my own baby I will wait 7 months and borrow my sisters. Surely if I have a picture of me with my parents first grand kid that would be worthy of display. However, I have found that people usually prefer pictures of babies with their mothers. I'm not sure why that is but it seems the tradition.

PLAN C: Get Married
Um, yea.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Greatest Movie Ever Made

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it you surely will."
- Abraham Lincoln

I was flipping through the channels today when I came across what I consider to be one of the greatest movies ever made. If I were to pick the one movie that I felt had the greatest impact on my life it would be this one.

If you are unfamiliar with the 1960 Disney classic Pollyanna then I suggest that you go out and rent it immediately. The movie is about an overly optimistic pre-teen girl named Pollyanna who moves into a town of pessimists and revolutionizes their lives. Is it cheesy? Of course it is, it's 1960s Disney. Will it make your rethink your outlook on life? If it doesn't then your not paying very close attention.

At a very young age this movie taught me three very important lessons:.
1) Happiness is a choice.
2) Optimism is infectious and
3) One person can make a difference.

Did you know that there are 800 "glad" passages in the Bible? According to Pollyanna there are and if the Lord took the trouble to tell us 800 times that he wants us to rejoice, then He must really mean it. I think the Lord did mean it. So often optimistic people are looked at as being crazy or unrealistic. But, if God tells us to rejoice then shouldn't we be rejoicing. And if we aren't then doesn't that mean that we are disobeying the Lord (aka sinning)? Pessimism is not an option.

Here let me teach you a game that if played correctly will change your life

pollyannaish -expecting the best in this best of all possible worlds; "in an optimistic mood"; "optimistic plans"; "took an optimistic view"