Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Your Momma Jokes - Old Testament Style

30 Day Blogging Challenge Day 1:

So I was thinking the other day, if I lived during the times of the Old Testament what kind of insults would I use. Now, I must warn you, if you don't have a running knowledge of the Old Testament most of these will not be funny to you. Shoot, if you do have a running knowledge of the Old Testament they may still not be funny. What do I know. Here goes nothing.

- Your Momma is so fat that after the walls of Jericho fell down, the children of Israel marched around her for the next 7 days.
- Your Momma is so poor that she tried to give one pigeon as a sin offering.
- When you were born you were so ugly that your Momma tried to become a follower of Molech just so she could get rid of you.
- Your Momma is so ugly that when if she were in the Garden of Eden God wouldn't have waited for her to sin to cover up her nakedness
- Your Momma is so poor that she collects 10% of other peoples crops.
- Your Momma is so fat that she made the king of Moab look skinny.
- Your Momma is so dirty that Moses told her she would have to sleep in her own tent for 7 years to be ritually clean.
- Your Momma is so big that she looks like she came from the land of Gath
- Your Momma is so old that she is listed in the first paragraph in the genealogy of King David.

3 comments:

Fran said...

I laughed at a couple of them.

Helen Ann said...

Daaannnggg...Those are meaaannn! :)

Faith said...

Hahaha, I like the Garden of Eden one :)