Thursday, February 5, 2009

How to be Cheap 101

I'm frugal, ok I'm cheap. Whatever you do, do not be as cheap as me. Here is an instruction sheet on how to be cheap and save money. What ever you do, do not follow all of these instructions at the same time. It will ruin your life.

1) Your paying too much for internet, phone, and cable. Call them up. They will reduce your bill 100% of the time. I have never paid full price for my internet.

2) See that stuff that says organic? Ok, now buy the stuff grown with chemicals, it's much cheaper.

3) Eat as much of your parents and friends food as you can. It will save you boat loads of money and they will all just thing that you enjoy their company.

4) Always buy generic drugs. Its the same stuff in a different bottle. Or you could just do what I do and not take medicine. I'm not your doctor though.

5)Never buy any type of cable or adapter for your electronics in a store. Buy it online. 99% of the time it will be significantly cheaper.

6) The dollar store sells pregnancy tests. I've never bought one but that sounds like a good deal.

7) Buy all of your candy a few days after Christmas, Easter, or Halloween. Chocolate is chocolate. Who cares what its shaped like.

8) If you need some nice clothes, borrow them from your brother. If you don't have a brother with nice clothes, sorry.

9) Try not to be in too many weddings.

10) Eat a lot of raman noodles.

Ok, now tell me your advice on how to be cheap.


Anonymous said...

well i would but you kinda took all mine!

Francy said...

Hitchhike instead of buying a car.

Give yourself stitches instead of getting sterile ones at a hospital.

melanie said...

Wait, aren't you the one that just paid somewhere around the $9 mark to go to the movie??
Point being, sometimes it's okay, even necessary to spend the big bucks.
Oh, and those pregnancy tests at the dollar store? Yeah...they work...

sledgeforchrist said...

I suggest wearing the same pair of underwear until they resemble a fishing net. When that time comes, buy a new pair, and repeat the process.

Anonymous said...

#4. I'm bringing drugs (the good kind, wait, that still doesn't help...the prescription kind, wait, I'm not getting them with prescriptions though...anyways...) home with me. They are super cheap here. I'm taking orders...

Helen Ann said...

LOL! You are soo funny!

Would you call my internet service for me and see about getting my bill reduced?? I'm terrible at wheeling and dealing!

DanThoms said...

melanie - You got me there. I try to think of those types of things as investments in my friendships. Even so, I try not to do that too often.

Henlen - I would call them for you but they will only talk to the person whose name is on the account. You don't have to do much negotiation though. Just tell them that your internet is $45 (or however much it is) a month and that's kind of expensive for you right now. Usually they will then transfer you to someone who will give you a new price.

Ruby said...

lol, sledge! but the rash meds might cost more than a second pair...why not wear a kilt and skip undies altogether?

how to be cheap. seriously? you asked..

Eat legumes of all kinds - if you want to be super cheap sprout them first...extra healthy, super cheap. Spices seem expensive but they last and save a lot by replacing costly pre-flavored food choices.

In fact, there are entire aisles at the grocery store full of expensive stuff that only increases your chances of expensive medical bills...

Wear sweaters and long johns - turn your heat down a few notches - each notch represents a noticeable percentage of total dollars spent on heat or air.

Invest in your health - the food you eat, exercise, clean water, fresh air etc.

Dirty clothes wear out faster, too much detergent breaks down fibers too -

Use vinegar/baking soda/ammonia/dish soap/Murphy's Oil Soap to clean and sanitize effective and cheap - but know which one works on what surface!

Some stuff is made cheap but sold for medium prices - luggage, for example, and furniture, and socks. Invest in solid quality, cut your cost over time by 2/3 at least.

ok, so I could go on..and on..
I'm workin' on my Master's in blood from a turnip.

Anonymous said...

if you work in a restaurant only eat the food you get free. if you don't get anything free don't eat at work, otherwise you'll look at your bank statement and realize you spent half your paycheck on food while you were working

Carly said...

I live by 8 and 9! And I'm going to have my pregnant friend take the dollar store test. I will report back.

My tip is don't pay for internet. Use the heck out of it while you're supposed to be working. It will not only save you money but give you more free time when you're not at work.