Wednesday, March 26, 2008

What if Dr. Seuss wrote the Bible

I edited a sketch from Kids in the Hall to make a decent poem.

What if Dr. Seuss wrote the Bible?

One day God said

This is what I will do

I’ll send down my son

I’ll send him to you

To clear up this humpity Bumpity huabaloo

He will be the Christ

and miracles he do

and his pals will all call

Him the King of the Jews

He didn’t come in a plane

He didn’t come in a jeep

He didn’t come in the pouch

Of a high jumping vo veep

He came born of Mary

That was his mom

And she named him Jesus

Not Frugal, Frank or Tom

Christ spoke from a mound

Which is a pile of ground

And people gathered around

Without making a sound

And thus he spake

Sin in hearts

Hearts full of sin

How do we quiet this Jerobidy din

Do unto others asYou want them to do to you

That includes you

Young Timothy Foo

One Pharisee said to another he knew

What do we do with this uppity Jew

We can beat him with a whip

And do everything mean

And put him on top of Sam ZittleCrucifixion Machine

Twirl the gawhril

And release the gavlease

And in go the nails

As fast as you please

And he said

As he bled

Forgive them Father

For they know not what they do

They were all bound for Hell

This he knew

There was sin in their hearts

How about you?


Melanie Price said...

There is simply nothing left to say except that you, my friend, are sheer genius.

Jonah said...

Thats funny

carrie doan said...

Ouch. For some reason that last part stung.