Friday, February 15, 2008

Poetry to Food

Today I wrote and sent poems to various foods that I like via their web site feedback forms. This is by no means quality poetry.

Andy Capp's Hot Fries
Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways
One your hotter than any girl I have ever dated
Two I can't resist licking your goodness off of my fingers
Three Corn and Potatoes have never come together in a more tasty form
Four I try to eat you just one at a time but alas it can not be done.
Oh how I love thee

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
M&Ms come in more colors than that
and they taste better too

Pringles, the chips in a can
Pringles, I'm your biggest fan
Pringles, you taste so very good
Pringles, I choose you above other food

Slim Jims
Slim Jims, such a manly treat
If wrestlers can eat them
than it must be quite the feat

Your meaty goodness causes me to salivate
Slim Jims the beef you eat
without a plate

Vlasic Pickles
Vlasic, a great pickle with a funny name
Your crunchy goodness has brought you fame
I hope to eat you every day
Vlasic pickles are here to stay

Kraft String Cheese
I love string cheese
its heaven on earth
I love string cheese
it has a tiny girth
I love string cheese
won't you be mine
I love string cheese
I eat it all the time

Corporate Responses to my Poems
I will post them as they come

Dear Mr. Thoms,
Your communication concerning our Slim Jim product was most welcome. I really liked your poem. We will be sending a couple cents off coupons via mail in 7-14 days.


Reverb said...

This. Is. Awesome.

Ryan Allen Doan said...

I didn't know they still made hot fries. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen them since I was a kid.

Melanie Price said...

This may tell much about my upbringing, but I've never had those Andy things you speak of. In fact, I think I would have been forbidden to socialize with anyone who ate those. Those and a stick of preserved meat, aka slim jim.