Sunday, June 15, 2008

Random Conversations

Here are some quips from various random conversations that I've had throughout the week. I won't use any names here. These are rather pointless but hey, if your board than read on.

(conversation between me and a 7 year old boy)
Boy- Do you smoke?
Me- No
Boy - Do you Drink?
Me - No
Boy- Huh, you look like someone who would.

(conversation between me and a professional magician who looks like a skinny Santa Clause)
Magic Man - I played Santa for two weeks straight in California last year. Wow, that was hard work.
Me - Huh, I figured all Santa had to do was sit there all day.
Magic Man - Oh yea, you try having 700 kids sit on your lap, all those camera flashes and and having to smile all day. Its hard work. My doctor says I can't do it again this year.

(quick excerpt)
Lady - Some day my son will have hair. Its kind of cruel that he's named HAIRison. My mom calls him HAIRLESSson.

(conversation between me and a customer)
Man - I need a big 4x8 foot banner that says in giant letters Obama across it.
Me- Oh yea, so how are you planning on hanging it, between two poles or something?
Man - No, I'm going to nail it to a giant piece of plywood in my front yard. That way no ****ing malicious Republican can rip it down
Me - (I didn't argue with him, this customer brings me homemade beef jerky. I like beef jerky.)

(conversation between me and a new acquaintance)
Person - I like your eyes. I like the color. I wish I had your eyes.
Me - Well I am an organ donor. If you ever see my car crashed on the side of the road just call dibs.

(a non-conversation between me and the postal worker)
Postal Worker - Has anyone ever told you you have pretty hair.
Me- Thank ya thank ya.


melanie said...

no wonder you like your postal workers.
like the eyes comeback. did you ask for her number? She was probably flirting, you know.
did you have a conversation about steve's pedi? I'm a little nauseaus over it...

DanThoms said...

I know, my postal workers are awesome. As for the eyes, that was Steve Nixons lady friend. We were talking about her lack of good eye sight. What did I have a conversation about that nauseated you?

melanie said...

No, not you. I was wondering if you set Steve straight. His pedi nauseated me. I was reading his blog thinking NO, NO, NOOOOO!!!

OH, sorry about the flirting thing! I didn't know it was Carol!!! woops.

Unknown said...

My pedi nauseated you? Por que?

melanie said...

Because man feet are nasty and have lots of unprettiness about them. And, you're Steve, and I like Steve without thinking about Steve's feet, that's why!