Friday, August 5, 2011

A Cowboy hat kind of Day

Today I wore a cowboy hat to the park. It just felt like a cowboy hat kind of day. Plus I was going to a Westside festival (The Delhi Skirt Game) and I didn't want to blend in. Heaven forbid anyone mistake me for a regular Westsider. I'm not really a regular anything though so I guess that's a given. I saw a ton of people that I knew, some that I recognized and some that were dressed in drag. When a guy in a wig and makeup waves at you and says remember me from church it can catch you a bit off guard. I did remember him but it took me a couple of minutes because I had to re-imagine him without the blond wig, eye makeup and skirt. I even met some new people which is something I tend to do. The cowboy hat helps with that as well.

Fast forward to the end of the night because the rest was pretty uneventful. I was leaving. You're not allowed to live there because it's a park and those are the rules. I was getting close to my car when I started to pass by a large group of teenagers. The guys were angry and the girls were antagonistic. If you know me well than you know I have a strict, "no fighting in front of Dan," rule so I stopped to observe. I'm a bit ADD so after about 30 seconds I quit observing and got involved. I talked the one guy down and got yelled at by a very angry teenager girl. That girl was day time television material. I can't remember exactly what she said but it was something along he lines of, "You don't know me." which coincidentally I agree with. One of the other girls told me that she liked my hat. I liked her better. Another guy started yelling at the casual observers to walk away. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him about my rule. "You do understand that I can't walk away and let a couple of kids punch each other. I just can't let that happen." He assured me that it wouldn't. He seemed like a nice kid but I didn't believe him.

I'm pretty good with angry teenagers. You would be surprised what you can do with the right words, a Cowboy hat and an excessive amount of confidence. The first guy started to walk away only to be pursued by the antagonist. He got up in his face and challenged him in the typical punk kid way, "hit me, go ahead, you flexin? hit me." Apparently, "flexin," is a term used to describe the act of trying to impress a girl. I kind of like that term. It reminds me of a couple of gorillas banging their chests but I regress.

I needed to go home so this was as good a time as any to put this situation to rest. I stepped in between them and said with my best authoritative voice, "Walk away. Both of you, walk away." I pointed just in case either of them were unclear as to were away was. And that was that. Since I made them both walk away, no one lost and both of them saved face. It was the perfect solution. Then, I went home.


Helen Ann said...

Dan - You rock. They need to make a movie about you.

Francy said...

Dan is the MAN for sure!

Kelly said...

Can you move to our street? Or come and visit once a day?