My Van Celebrates Opposite Day

It was early in the morning and I was on my way to an auction. This was the morning that I was going to hit it big, I may even retire. But then again I wake up every morning with that same expectation. The highway traffic was bad and I was running late but the end was in site. Just as I got in the clear my check engine light went on and I lost my power steering. I coasted off the exit, pulled over and popped my hood.

The fuel gauge showed a full tank but the oil light had blinked momentarily so I pulled out the dipstick. There was obviously something wrong because the dipstick wasn't giving me an accurate reading. I tried to remove the oil cap but to no avail. I called my Dad and he said I had better call a tow truck.

$80 later I was home. I managed to pry my oil cap off and it looked bad, it was low and there was what the experts call "mayo" in there. So, I called my dad, I searched the internet and I did a complete oil change. The car forum prophets of doom foretold a bleak future for my pretty little minivan. ,Never the less I again tried to start my van. Still nothing so for what was probably the 5th time that day I called my Dad. As he was in the middle of explaining spark plugs to me I had a moment of inspiration, a fleeting moment of pure genius. I laughed. Suddenly I knew what was wrong. Yes, my van did have a faulty part. It had a bad fule guage. Yes, for the first time in my life I had run out of gas.