Weeble Wobble is Not an Insult (in my mind)

I must admit, I once told a pregnant friend that she looked like Buddha. In my defense she was sitting cross legged and smiling. Ok, I have the feeling that I'm not helping my case here. You see the problem is I think much differently than most people. Ok, so that's not the entire problem. The second part of the problem is I also speak portions of my mind that most people know to keep to themselves. I've been known to tell pregnant women that they look like weeble wobbles or are looking a bit lopsided. In fact, I may or may not have said one of those two things as recently as this week.

Ok, before I get beaten down my a mob of angry mothers, let me try to explain the inner workings of my brain. Try to understand that even though this may not be logical to you, in my mind it makes perfect sense. In my mind telling a pregnant women that she looks large is not meant to be an insult. Never in my life have I told a women that she looks fat (my sisters excluded). In my mind large is not the same as fat. I am merely pointing out that she looks like she is about to have a baby. Having a baby is a beautiful thing. Well, maybe not the act of having a baby, that's kind of gross and bloody and usually the baby looks all pruney and cross eyed. But, after a week or two, having a baby turns into a beautiful thing. So I say, be proud of your watermelon shaped protrusion because soon it will be gone and in its place you will have a tiny, pruney cross eyed human that will eventually turn into a cute baby. Weeble wobble is not an insult.

All that being said, I here by resolve to cease making unsolicited comments about the physique of my pregnant friends.