Here are some quips from various random conversations that I've had throughout the week. I won't use any names here. These are rather pointless but hey, if your board than read on.
(conversation between me and a 7 year old boy)
Boy- Do you smoke?
Me- No
Boy - Do you Drink?
Me - No
Boy- Huh, you look like someone who would.
(conversation between me and a professional magician who looks like a skinny Santa Clause)
Magic Man - I played Santa for two weeks straight in California last year. Wow, that was hard work.
Me - Huh, I figured all Santa had to do was sit there all day.
Magic Man - Oh yea, you try having 700 kids sit on your lap, all those camera flashes and and having to smile all day. Its hard work. My doctor says I can't do it again this year.
(quick excerpt)
Lady - Some day my son will have hair. Its kind of cruel that he's named HAIRison. My mom calls him HAIRLESSson.
(conversation between me and a customer)
Man - I need a big 4x8 foot banner that says in giant letters Obama across it.
Me- Oh yea, so how are you planning on hanging it, between two poles or something?
Man - No, I'm going to nail it to a giant piece of plywood in my front yard. That way no ****ing malicious Republican can rip it down
Me - (I didn't argue with him, this customer brings me homemade beef jerky. I like beef jerky.)
(conversation between me and a new acquaintance)
Person - I like your eyes. I like the color. I wish I had your eyes.
Me - Well I am an organ donor. If you ever see my car crashed on the side of the road just call dibs.
(a non-conversation between me and the postal worker)
Postal Worker - Has anyone ever told you you have pretty hair.
Me- Thank ya thank ya.
no wonder you like your postal workers.
ReplyDeletelike the eyes comeback. did you ask for her number? She was probably flirting, you know.
did you have a conversation about steve's pedi? I'm a little nauseaus over it...
I know, my postal workers are awesome. As for the eyes, that was Steve Nixons lady friend. We were talking about her lack of good eye sight. What did I have a conversation about that nauseated you?
ReplyDeleteNo, not you. I was wondering if you set Steve straight. His pedi nauseated me. I was reading his blog thinking NO, NO, NOOOOO!!!
ReplyDeleteOH, sorry about the flirting thing! I didn't know it was Carol!!! woops.
My pedi nauseated you? Por que?
ReplyDeleteBecause man feet are nasty and have lots of unprettiness about them. And, you're Steve, and I like Steve without thinking about Steve's feet, that's why!
ReplyDelete