Andy Capp's Hot Fries
Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways
One your hotter than any girl I have ever dated
Two I can't resist licking your goodness off of my fingers
Three Corn and Potatoes have never come together in a more tasty form
Four I try to eat you just one at a time but alas it can not be done.
Oh how I love thee
M&Ms
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
M&Ms come in more colors than that
and they taste better too
Pringles
Pringles, the chips in a can
Pringles, I'm your biggest fan
Pringles, you taste so very good
Pringles, I choose you above other food
Slim Jims
Slim Jims, such a manly treat
If wrestlers can eat them
than it must be quite the feat
Your meaty goodness causes me to salivate
Slim Jims the beef you eat
without a plate
Vlasic Pickles
Vlasic, a great pickle with a funny name
Your crunchy goodness has brought you fame
I hope to eat you every day
Vlasic pickles are here to stay
Kraft String Cheese
I love string cheese
its heaven on earth
I love string cheese
it has a tiny girth
I love string cheese
won't you be mine
I love string cheese
I eat it all the time
Corporate Responses to my Poems
I will post them as they come
Dear Mr. Thoms,
Your communication concerning our Slim Jim product was most welcome. I really liked your poem. We will be sending a couple cents off coupons via mail in 7-14 days.
This. Is. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know they still made hot fries. I'm pretty sure I haven't seen them since I was a kid.
ReplyDeleteThis may tell much about my upbringing, but I've never had those Andy things you speak of. In fact, I think I would have been forbidden to socialize with anyone who ate those. Those and a stick of preserved meat, aka slim jim.
ReplyDelete