I Stink at Fishing

"There are lots of fish in the sea," a phrase I am well accustomed to. Scientist have thus far discovered over 18,000 different varieties of fish in the sea but hey, who cares, I'm a lousy angler.

Fishing just isn't fun to me. It has been suggested that perhaps I should go online and order some fish from Russia where there are entire schools of beautiful blond fish. I would like a good looking fish, a real keeper. Catch and release is not my proverbial cup of tea (or should I say cup of sea). I don't want just a picture of me with a beautiful trophy fish, I want to keep it until death do us part.

Perhaps my problem is my fish snobbery. I am fishing for the elusive Deep-sea Christianhotandgoodlookinggirlwithgoalswholoveskids fish. Being that they are one of the worlds rarest fish and I am quite possibly the worlds worst fisherman, the chances of my catching one is quite slim indeed. I could fish for the halibut, they are quite abundant, but what if I don't like halibut? I certainly don't want a Long Horned Cow fish or a Snaggletooth, ek. I'm quite picky when it comes to my fish.

There are 3 basic dynamics involved in fishing:

1) THE BAIT. Now there are many varieties of bait that can be used to catch fish. There are some that use mirrors to attract the fish to their own reflection. Others use shiny objects to capture their attention. Sometimes I wonder if I may be using the wrong bait.

2) The Location. You can have the best tackle and bait in the world but if you are in an area with no fish than this will be of no help to you. Many people find it useful to frequent local watering holes in order to catch fish. I'm not looking for intoxicated fish so that doesn't work for me.

3) The Fisherman. My casting skills are lacking and I can never manage to real them in. Nothing is more disappointing then the fish that gets away. I always wanted to take the approach to fishing that the disciples of Jesus used. He told them when and were and then they got the fish. No skills or bait needed. I have no skills and my bate is medocre so I may need Jesus to lend me his angling skills.